Congratulations JaceONE

Let's give JaceONE a round of applause for his epic determination to be an attention whore, and a blog snob this month. You almost did it JaceONE!!! But seriously this was an epic post month, and I have to commend the tireless efforts JaceONE did to achieve the amount of content we had on BS this month. (oh yeah thanks to everyone else who posted this month too, especially me and my epic content series) Even though you did try to fire me from the blog for not putting up 3 posts a day, I continued anyway because we all no you have no power. Well Done....

I'm Hard!!!

OMG!!! I don't know which V-Rod I'd rather have; This one, or the one with Marisa Miller sitting on top... The decisions I have to make in this world

Coffee anyone?

In Your Vagina

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Sketch Groups | Cease Brothers

Here's a pretty entertaining video for you. The ending is kind of crazy, in a funny ha ha way. Enjoy!

Handjobs for the Future

Handjobs For The Future

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Extreme Humor | TV & Movie Spoofs

Last time I tried this gag, I got arrested. Of course I wasn't using time travel. I was going door to door. Hmmm, I think my technique is flawed...

Japanese Commercial - Arnold Schwarzenegger style

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

And finally, the classic one with The Governator.

Japanese Commercial - Nicolas Cage style

Watch Nick Cage Commercial on CollegeHumor

And here's one with Nicolas Cage that makes perfect sense!! Wait, no it doesn't.

Japanese Commercial - Hulk style

Watch Hulk Japanese Commercial and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

No, this isn't creepy at all.

Japanese Commercial - Boobage style

Watch Good Good on CollegeHumor

Again I say: Why can't we have commercials like this here?

Beautiful Performance

In honor of the world's favorite sport, I present to you a girl that is good at soccer. Did I mention she's wearing very little clothing?

Jake and Amir - Email

Watch Jake and Amir: E-Mail on CollegeHumor

Here is another Jake and Amir for your viewing pleasure.

A few that make me chuckle...

[BS] Presents: A Paint on Words

Sorry for the absence, JaceOne please forgive me for not completely winning this bet for you. I'll try harder.

Revenge on Ex

Ultimate Revenge on Ex - Watch more Funny Videos

I think I might have posted this before, but I don't remember. I know it's a little long (ladies), but it's worth it (ladies). It really gets you in the end (ladies). I can't think of any more stupid ladies jokes, so just watch the damn video.

Paper Towels

Watch Paper Towels on CollegeHumor

And just when you thought Shamwow was the best there was, this guy brings you Paper Towels. Oh and by the way, the very very end of this video is CREEPY. Enjoy!

315 kph = 195.731926 mph

195 MPHMPG

Springtime is here and the Cafe Racer's gotta get back before Jaceone gets off to Ms. Fox strattling that chopper in Transformers. Yo.

Hungover + ADD Funny = well no they don't. I need an asprin or twenty.

Enjoy the weekend. I'll know I'll be pretending I can actually use my "M" endorsement...

cheers

Food Critic FAIL

Want to know why this video is funny? Oh, you'll figure it out...

Interesting Gorilla Keychain

I'm going to buy this and put it on Tuefel's desk Wednesday. HR will looooooove that!!

Jake and Amir - Coma

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I don't know if any of you follow College Humor and the Jake and Amir series, but YOU FUCKING SHOULD BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME. I'm sorry I yelled. Daddy didn't mean to hit Mommy.

But seriously, they are really funny.

Voyeur Fail

Actually, I changed my mind. This is a definitely a win.

I'm On A Boat

I was reminded of this today. We were talking about the Dick in a Box video and the Jizz in My Pants video thinking if we combined them, it would make an awesome gift. My Jizz in a Box. It was funny at the time. Shut up.

Anyways, I was reminded of this other video from The Lonely Island. I don't think it was ever posted. And if it was, watch it again motherfuckers!

Helping Hand

[BS] suggests that you volunteer at your local community center. Thankfully Mrs. Orman did and now little Suzy knows what to do should she ever run into John Holmes.

Work it Mrs. Orman, Work it!

[BS] Presents: A Paint on Words

So remember the other day I mentioned this high stakes bet with Tuefel? Well, it is a bet to see if we break the all-time [BS] post record for one-month, which was set at 76 back in February of 2008. See, that was back in the beginning of our little relationship with you readers. Back when it was fresh and exciting, and all we wanted to do was post. Post like rabbits. Then, after we fell into the same routine day in and day out, we got kind of bored with you and wanted to go post on other blogs. It's not that we didn't love you anymore, it's just that the other blogs were younger and hotter and liked anal.

But then for some reason, you started getting kinky again and all of the sudden we had posted 20 times in the first week of May! So I noticed we were on track to 80 posts for the month, which if you've been keeping score at home, is more than 76 and hence: new world record.

Tuefel doesn't think we will beat it. I think Tuefel is an asshole. So the stakes have been set, and the race is on. We will reveal the details of the wager on June 1, after I win.

Anyways, here is another lovely MS Paint that came from a conversation with Zimm over a romantic lunch today. [BS] Presents: A Paint on Words:

Crazy guy drifting a Mustang

This Guy Is Completely Nuts - Watch more Funny Videos

Aaahhh. The classic American muscle car. This guy has some skills, I'll give him that much. He's also pretty fucked in the head. Nothing like a shovel to the brain to show you're a bad-ass. And right about now, Zimm is going to chime in with what year the Mustang was...wait for it...wait for it...there it is.

Hot Sexy DANCING chicks wash car

I lost all sight of what kind of car totally mesmerized by the the Moves, man the Moves. Holy shit, it hasn't been since that fat chick fucked that fuzzy blue shark costume that I've been so inappropriately turned on. And this time the chicks are skinny!

The moves, but then there is the licking, holy batshit man! the licking.

Epic Boots part One

Just in case we still have a fan of the boot--Stacy Keibler volunteered to put on a pair for us.

Latest Swine Flu Fatality

We all know who's responsible for this...

Meat Gazer

That is 3 kicks in the ass for gazing at my Meat Curtains

I love France

Naked French Girls Music Video - Watch more Funny Videos

This makes me realize how awesome Europe is. Imagine if someone tried to do this here? All the Bible-thumping freaks would be crying blood in the street. It's just nudity folks. We were all born naked. I think we should embrace it. Well, we should embrace it when hot chicks like this do it. When that wookie from the Dollar Store does it, it should be punishable by death.

Side boob

ha...

Motivation Posters

A few posters for you because I love you. And because I'm trying to win a bet with Tuefel. More details on that later...

ShamWow guy - In jail

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

This guy does a pretty good impression of our good friend Vince.

That Look

[BS] Presents: A Paint on Words

This is to appease JaceOne's need for attention and to affirm that his idea is kinda cool, even though I think this idea has been done. Ever heard of a Wuzzle (the clever picture/word puzzles we did as kids; created back in the mid '80s). Too bad this is way cooler than the previous 3 posts. Sorry JaceOne for being more talented, better looking, better with the ladies, cooler, better in every way, more likable, better hung, smarter, a better dresser, smarter (yeah that much smarter), more clever, (more) ninja-esque, superior, not as good of a speler, but WHO CARES, look at all the other things. (Wow, I totally got off topic) in any case enjoy... [BS] Presents: A Paint on Words:

Philip the Hyper-Hypo

POST # 30!!! When I saw this for the first time, my face esploded. You're welcome for the classic content I have provided you. Keep reading, keep commenting, and the epic content from the spacial dimension of my hard drive will continue to reveal itself.

I'm hard for pole

Words cannot describe

Watch Epic Shower on CollegeHumor

Judge for yourself. One of the weirdest videos over?

Pushup Bras, We Salute You

Yeah, we salute you and we're not even using our hands...

One of the inventions that best shaped mankind's future. And by mankind, I mean women. And by future I mean tits. And by 'one of' I mean, miniskirts, Brazilian swimwear of any kind, vinyl thigh-high boots, and Ms. Heinz the eighth grade English teacher who always wore the shit that made your pants tight.

[BS] Presents: A Paint on Words

I hope you have enjoyed this series so far. If have any suggestions for words you think I could poorly draw in MS Paint, please let me know by cramming your suggestions UP YOUR ARSE! Ha ha ha, I'm kidding. You know I love input from all 7 of you readers. Tuefel would tell you I love it too much, and use words like attention whore, and blog snob, but since Tuefel is a dirty little bitch, we shouldn't care what he says, right? So send me your suggestions and I'll see what I can do.

Until then, I give you 4 women I hate more than very few things on this planet: Ann Coulter, Nancy Pelosi, Anna Nicole Smith, and Rosie O'Donnell. Too bad only one of these cunts is dead. [BS] Presents: A Paint on Words:

[BS] Presents: A Paint on Words

Now usually when I introduce a new "series" here on [BS], the first entry is usually the last entry. I either forget to make another one, get too distracted banging your mom, or am too busy being awesome. But this time, I have THREE posts already made! That's like a 3% increase or something. Wait, I don't think percentages work that way. Anyways, shut up.

Now this one isn't as dynamic as the first Paint on Words, but they can't all be amazing. Plus, I really think you guys will like the next one. Anyways, [BS] Presents: A Paint on Words:

[BS] Presents: A Paint on Words

So I've been kicking this idea around since I first saw Jeley - Amateur Psychologist over at Chicken effed Bacon, a founding member of the world renowned Circle Jerk of Lunacy and Perversion.

I loved the MS Paint idea because it lends itself so well to my complete lack of artistic ability. And of course my sloth-like laziness. Simple, effective, and it really gets your point across. So, without further ado, [BS] Presents: A Paint on Words:

Crispy New Freestyle

More epic content from the endless expanse of information that is my hard drive. Enjoy.

I am Batman

The Gauntlet has been thrown down. Epic Post Month! Sorry for the quality of the video - but you get the idea.

Epic Boob part Nom Nom Nom

Hi my name is Tuefel and I'm an Epic Boob addict.

Hi Tuefel.

Whale Tail

Call me one dimensional...

and you would be spot on correct! :)

90's Slang phone sex

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I grew up in the 90's, so this makes me totally hot. Pretty funny shit actually. This chick is pretty good!

Kaksteist Kuud!!

So apparently, "12 months" in Estonian sounds a lot like these chicks want to fellate me. I think I've decided to move to Estonia. Yep, it's decided.

You've got Male

My wife is watching Dancing with the Stars, since I have higher standards (Yes that means you have lower standards if you watch, YAAAAAAYYY. Although some of those dancers are kinda hot) (No not the guy dancers you homos) (Even though the title of this post would lead me to believe that you suck male) (hehehe) (That still cracks me up) (Quit thinking about my crack) (I know what you are thinking - how many more side thoughts could this (really cool) guy have?) (The answer is however many I feel like having until Blogger finishes uploading my epic video) (I bet you are not even reading anymore) (What was I talking about in the beginning?) (HEY! Blogger is done uploading YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!) Since I have little better to do than search the almost limitless repository of information that is my Hard Drive Assassin until I go enjoy a delicious cigar, I will continue to post. YAAAAAAAYYY!

Ninja Ping Pong

More epic content from the catacombs of my hard drive. Althought JaceOne's cool Illusion was pretty cool, this is fargen awesome!

Cardboard boxes beware

Wish I could destroy a box like this. If those things go thru cardboard, they must be unstoppable. Let's see him catapult off a Hummer and cut the blades off an Apache, I might be impressed then.

Finally!

Dead Hooker Removal Services


Kinda lame but good concept.

Slap Chop Remix

Slap Chop Rap Remix - Watch more Funny Videos

I always knew that Vince was gansta. First he beats the shit out of a hooker, now he's rapping the Slap Chop. Represent nigga!

Invisible car

Kinda cool. Once she drives it away it's gonna look pretty stupid. It would be a boobies post because her shirt is cut above her boobies, but anyone with an untrained eye won't be able to see it.

22 Seconds, I'm Spent.

No pictures to spoil the effect. Go here:

Esquire shoots video for mag cover.

The brilliant bit will be when the actual magazine cover is in video and not just a still.

I seriously haven't made it past 22 seconds yet--and only that far because the first 18 seconds is black title screen. I'll update if I ever get farther--or maybe I'll just go change my pants. Again.

oh and Jaceone,
you are welcome.

Suprise!

Normal Service is Resumed.. Epic Boobs #6

because of the weekend thats in it...- my new theme.. Chicks on Bikes

Cool illusion

This isn't funny and it doesn't contain boobies, but I found this very interesting. It took me to the very end before I could see the window rotating correctly. Crazy how our brains work.

[BS] Presents: The greatest 1:19 ever.

Boobies - Watch more Funny Videos

You are very, very welcome. I expect you all to click on an ad and make us $.05 to say thank you for this video.

I don't like titles

And the gods of Blueray shall rejoice at the 24 second mark...

June 26th fellas. I'll be there. Probably explaining to my son that they had to focus on Ms. Fox's ass like that for artistic integrity and keeping with the cinamatographic composition of the original.

It's art son.

Be an artist.

Make the world a beautiful place.

Focus on a glorious ass.

Swine Flu?

How to handle the Law

GOOD

A Madison, SD policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Sioux Falls, SD. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST

A Young woman was pulled over for speeding. A South Dakota State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball. 'He replied, ' South Dakota State Troopers don't have balls.' There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.

Friday Joviality

I thought a little Friday joviality would help us get through the day.