Please accept this Spider

(Jaceone hadn't seen this yet--I post so he doesn't seem so retarded)
(rumor has it that the spider has since sold on eBay for 10 grand...)


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.
I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.










From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached










From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,
Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th.
David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95.
Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me.
I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.
















From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding.
We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Sasha Grey is a real porn star.

Roadside Ass-sistance
put on the head phones for this one and you're probably not looking at this crap site at work anyway but there is a brief panty shot somewhere in the middle.
fucking brilliant video. and now I'm going to have to google Sasha. crap.
oh and don't worry he does get some pussy in the end. [BS] does not condone nor will we ever promote a serious case of blue balls. nope. not ever.

And now for something better:

I could no longer stand opening this page and seeing that cesspool of an ass that Tuefel posted. I think a majority of you loyal readers would much rather look at something like this. And given the sheer volume of traffic we get from Google Image search, I think I'm right. So here are a couple more for you to enjoy, and so that damn diseased ass crack is as far down the page as possible.

Don't look at this post

Seriously just keep going Do Not Look at this post.

I have a truely incredible imagination (just ask my wife Morgan Fairchild) but I can't begin to picture the stank coming out of this womans ass. or worse yet, her cooter as I believe the flies are crawling out of ...

Say anyone been to the Degas showing in London?

Balloon animal porn

Funny Balloon Animal Commercial - Watch more free videos

I had a shitty Monday, so I'm not in the mood to be my usual awesome witty self. Just enjoy the damn video.

You're breaking my balls Randy

Jaceone is going to have good company on his mystical trip to hell:
Just like those fetuses, he wasn't born yesterday...
We all must respect his Athoriteah.

Aw Crap I need an iPhone now.

[BS] Must have application for the iPhone. It's fucking brilliant!

Why [BS] can't date

Damn, so much for honesty in dating.

I'm fucked in the head

I know this post would send me straight to hell, if I believed in that shit. Since I don't, I'm just going to say if any of you wonderful readers were aborted as a fetus, please know I meant no offense. Except for you, in the back. You're a dickhead.

Go'n Down to the Oyster Shack

I have to say thanks to my boy Brendan for this video. We can all feel better about ourselves after watching Steve head to the Oyster Shack.

(yes, I did say head)

OH fuck oh fuck oh fuck

On second thought, you know the weather here hasn't been all bad; at least I'm not being chased but by fucking polar bears.

I remember playing this game as a kid. Who knew it'd be a survival tool for this, err, tool.

Epic Car Park Failure

I know what you are thinking....OMG I can't believe Zimm is finally posting something again! My life has been empty without his words, and his crapitalistic, craptastic, craptacular, crapstanding, crapelicious inspiration. This video is kinda old, but I want to talk about it now. So SHUT IT! Actually I have to give credit when credit is due; JaceONE's Car Park Failure inspired me. He inspired me just like Keanu inspires me when he tries to do an English accent, right up until the moment he he calls someone dude. After seeing JaceONE's name at the bottom of the post, I was inspired to take a warm dump, and when I looked down, it looked like the car (yes car, 'cause Jeremy would call it a car) in the water. The funniest part of this video is at the very end the guy realized his turn signal was on, and didn't want to feel like a douche leaving it that way so he turns around to flip it off. Enjoy

-Peace....

Jesus is My Friend

In case you haven't accepted Jesus as your friend. You should. My only question is when is this bitch coming out for Rock Band, I wanna plastic air guitar this mother out!
Nothing says rock and fucking roll quite like the accordian!

I just pooped. Alot. On your dog.

I have a feeling that the office is going to be full of :
"I'm going to pound the farts out of you!"
and
I just pooped.
A lot.
On your dog.
(Jaceone, ten pounds says that google picks up on the dog statement and we get kibbles ads for a week!)

What Guys Think

to actually read the thing click here

to be honest the above is probably written by a chick, or perhaps a closet homo--what guys really think has already been posted on [BS].

Oh and while you are at it go see Cyanide and Happiness.

Introducing the Tiddy Bear!

It's funny cause it sounds like Tittie Bear.

Car Park failure

The stupidity of humans will never cease to amaze me. Here is a fantastic video of a complete tard stopping their car in a parking lot. The first part was funny, but the second part made me very sad for the human race. This person actually got a driver's license. It should be illegal for them to be alive.

Ok, so I was stroking my ego a little bit and checking out our FEEDJIT thingy. It lists every single hit we're getting here on [BS], where they found us from, what OS they were running, etc. Pretty cool stuff.

Anyways, one of them caught my eye, so I clicked on it and this is what I got:

Someone in the UK found us by searching MSN for pussy panties. That is awesome. As much as I would love piles of people to be coming to [BS] because of the funny videos and amazing wit and charm of our authors, I must admit it's all about the hawt chicks. I guess supply must meet demand.

So I give you Olivia Wilde of House fame. And that scene from Alpha Dog where she got nekid. Oh yes, very nekid.

Funny Short Film - Mildly NSFW

Stumbled across this little gem. It's a little long, but it's good in the end. Ladies.

Beer Goggles

Thanks to loyal reader Mike who forwarded along this gem of Internet goodness...

And as a public service announcement: friends don't let friends beer google, unless she has a hot friend along, then it's perfectly okay, and it's not the beer, you are just so manly-- women that hot naturally throw themselves at you. Honest.

Bonus joke left over from highschool:
Why are fat chicks like mopeds?
They are both a blast to ride but you wouldn't want your friends to catch you on one.

Secret Ninja Skills

Some Culture

Culture

because you fuckers need some.

I Love Golf, Who Knew?

I've never actually played, but I'm sure I love the game. Or at least love to work on my putz with that special someone...

I knew golf had clubs, and balls, and funny clothes but gobstobbing huge tits? sign me up.

The Waiting Game

and now we play the waiting game...

and pray for shitty quality control at Kathy Lee's sweatshop.

Answer to the age old question...

The Job Interview

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Happy New Year fuckers!! Since some of you may be making a New Year's resolution to get a new job, here is a great video to help you in the interview. Remember, do exactly what he does and you're sure to get the job. Or get arrested. One of the two.