The Angel of the New Year Welcomes You

Fuck Old Man Winter or Father Time or Whatever the old geezer tradition is! [BS] welcomes in this comming year with The Angel of the New Year, or the New-Year's Slut, or hell you pick one, I'm easy...

Happy New Year everyone.

Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted

example offered by an English prof:
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the
tandem story.Blah blah blah."
The following was actually... blah blah blah

It's a lot of words but you've been on break so suck it up boys and settle in for a read!

------------------------------------------------------------
STORY:
(First paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at
home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
times,that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up
again. So chamomile was out of the question.
----------------------------------------------------
(Second paragraph by Jim)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year
ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17, he said into his trans- galactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and
across the cockpit.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before
he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the
one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards,
Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers
of Skylon 4. Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War
and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed hurriedly and
carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The
dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless
target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy
the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The
lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The
President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean
floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out
of the sky!"
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attemptsat writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
Steele novels."
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Asshole.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Bitch.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Wanker.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
slut.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Get f*cked.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Eat shit.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Go drink some tea - whore.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Teacher)
A+ I really liked this one.

Merry Christmas

As you all know, I play DnD. For those of you who may be wondering why I play DnD: This is the kind of spam I get from playing said game. Merry Fucking Christmas.

Art

This one is for the artist in you.

Beer-thirty

BS gets all political and shit

Magic Email!

Good god these tits are massive. I'd love to comment on how absolutely dumb this commercial is, and for that matter how absolutely dumb these two women are, but with racks like those, all I can think about is motorboating and covering them in spooge.

Ridicoulsly Gay

My friends call me 'Dirty Sanchez'.

or

Holy crap, when did Jaceone go to Australia?

You never even read it

My kids watch lazy town

As always, put your headphones before watching this cute video.
linky linky if vid doesn't work

why i love sports.. why why oh why....

Wanted: New place to park my bycycle

Found!

You are a Retard.

Just in case you were wondering, yes, you are retarded.

However, because I so love the word 'retard', and would constantly jiz in my pants if we succeded in bringing this word back to it's late 80's glory--I will personally send each person who posts the word 'retard' in the comments below five dollars.

Now when you start wondering where the hell the five dollars actually is after posting your erudite comment, I'll direct you to the title of the post.

Thankyou and God bless.

For those of you with RockBand2 who are Jones'n for a little Iron Maiden cause the cheep bastards wouldn't pay whatever crazy ass fee Bruce Dickinson was demanding, I mean really, you're gonna ask me to bend over and fork out an additional five bucks anyway--tack on an extra 25 cents and give me my Maiden! Fuckers.

So anyhoo, here is Maiden. Well, almost, it's actually Eläkeläiset covering "Run to the Hills" cause I didn't want Bruce going all James Hetfield on my ass and suing me into realms of even more brokednesser.

And now we know what would happen if mom gets a young metal head an accordion for his 16th birthday instead of the electric guitar he really wanted...

Another SNL Digital Short

Nothing much to say to this one. I could go off and relate the video to fellow Suicidal Insects, but I'm tired. So just enjoy.

I love the taste of cock

Jaceone is on the hunt for more of this wonderful show. until then enjoy, and blow away the next half hour surfing youtube's man stroke woman.

The Mom Song

Ok, I know this isn't normal [BS] fodder, but I'm sure we can all relate to it in some fashion.

The first 15 seconds are for John

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1767981817/bctid1840781779

and after the first 15 seconds there really isn't much material. so skip it.