[BS] Presents: Things That Aren't News

So, the cover of People Magazine is devoted to telling the world that Clay Aiken is gay. The folks at People spent X number of dollars to TELL THE WORLD THAT CLAY AIKEN IS GAY. How in the name of dogshit is this news?? Everyone on the planet knows Clay Aiken is gay. No guy dresses like that, sings like that, and has hair like that unless he likes putting a dick or 9 in his face. So for People to run this as their cover story is like announcing to the world that fire is hot, water is wet, and Rosie O'Donnell is a fat ugly stupid talentless waste of oxygen.

As I said in the previous edition of Things That Aren't News, I am so damn sick of our news organizations telling me about the stupidest, most insignificant things. I know it's a boredom-byproduct of the 24-hour news world, but fuck me in the ear man. I don't care, at all, in any way whatsoever if Clay Gayken pitches or catches. All I am holding out hope for is the soon-to-be-repaired Large Hadron Collider opens a bad-ass black hole and puts everyone out of my misery.